1. I'm on the third day of my cleanse diet. All I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. Um, I just bought some bikinis online too so.. I'm gonna look amazing.
2. I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham.
3. I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me.
4. I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name.
5. Sometimes I download pirated music onto my work computer.
6. I've been involved in a number of cults. Both as a leader and a follower. I had more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.
7. I believe most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.
8. I'm petrified of nipple chaffing. Once it starts it is a vicious circle... you have sensitive nipples, they chaff, so they become more sensitive, so they chaff more. So I take precautions.
9. When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
10. Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.
11. A few years ago my family was on a safari in Africa, and my cousin Mufasa was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests. We all took it really hard, all of us kind of in the audience of what happened.
12. I knew this girl who, like, had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blagh! I am a Kraken from the sea!
13. I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran, killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
14. Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind”. Basically, it's made up of two separate words—“mank” and “ind”. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
15. Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me? Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
16. Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.
17. I'm personal friends with Obi-Wan Kenobi
18. I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.
19. One day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. My Momma always said you got to put the past behind you before you can move on. And I think that's what my running was all about. I had run for three years, two months, fourteen days, and sixteen hours.
20. So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.
5 comments:
Why'd you have to go and bring up cousin Mufasa again? I was just starting to get over it.
I think the only thing this actually tells us about you, is that you like the office.
I think the only thing this actually tells us about you, is that you like the office.
And I think you should know about me that, I'm not super stitious, but I am a little stitious.
I'm not sure which post I'm more amused by...Katelyn's Kat Walk or your 20 interesting things.
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